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The Numbers
Most Popular Humor Hotlines!
How To Keep an Idiot Entertained: 401-285-0696
Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128
Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277
Santa Hotline (Not for Kids!): 772-257-4661
The Original Rejection Hotline®: 212-660-2245
Bad Breath Notification Number: 631-960-7187
It Could Always Suck More!: 401-992-4050
Marijuana Legalization Line: 781-452-0647
The "Human Resources" Hotline: 786-837-9893
The "Make It 18" Hotline: 772-257-4488
New Releases
St. Patrick's Day Hotline: 772-257-4925
The "Get Over It" Hotline: 267-436-5063
The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016
The Official Breakup Hotline: 781-452-0659
Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010
Call A Thanksgiving Turkey: 781-452-4017
Dating Nightmare: 973-409-3273
Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029
The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129
The International Relationship Hotline: 917-475-0065
Pranks, Tricks and Jokes
Prankster's Assistant Hotline: 781-452-0842
The "Rick Roll" Hotline: 772-257-4501
Annoying Sound: 781-452-2666
Bad Connection (female): 786-837-9897
Bad Connection (male): 202-629-9226
Breaking News: 267-385-3706
Do You Even Know?: 202-629-9224
Frustration Hotline: 484-271-2468
Mind Reader Hotline: 781-452-0841
Suggestion Hotline: 973-474-9050
Holiday Hotlines
April Fools Day Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033
Best Valentines Gift EVER: 973-409-3278
Call The Easter Bunny!: 973-409-3313
For Singles on Valentine's Day: 401-992-4047
Frosty The Snowman: 631-403-2011
Get Over It Day (March 9): 267-350-8967
Halloween Tragedy Prevention Line: 413-497-0074
Hanukkah Harry Hotline: 772-257-4489
Happy Father's Day: 772-257-4480
Happy Mother's Day: 202-629-9227
Business-Related Hotlines
A Tip for Interviewing: 857-401-9189
Employment Hotline: 401-992-4052
Get out of Jail Hotline: 267-385-3705
Investment Advice: 781-452-2078
Professional Reference: 413-497-0051
The "I Quit" Hotline: 413-497-0049
The "You're Fired" Hotline: 413-497-0050
Political Hotlines
Obama Campaign Headquarters ('08): 917-475-0051
Presidential Polling Center: 781-452-2074
The "Billion Dollar Bailout" Hotline: 781-452-2073
Bye Bye Bush: 917-475-0064
Clinton Campaign Headquarters ('08): 917-475-0052
McCain Campaign Headquarters ('08): 917-475-0050
Sarah Palin's Cell Phone: 973-409-3264
The Rejection Hotline®
Almost... to Voicemail: 973-409-3264
Australian: 202-629-9230
British: 202-629-9216
Call to Silence: 301-576-1106
Definition Annoying: 917-475-0060
Definition Pathetic: 786-837-9920
Elderly: 401-992-4049
Leave-A-Message Rejection Hotline (female): 845-290-8610
Leave-A-Message Rejection Hotline (male): 973-409-3242
Marshmallow: 401-992-4046
Notification Numbers
Body Odor Notification: 631-960-7171
Booger Hanging Notification: 631-960-7169
Stop Inviting Me to Stupid Groups!: 202-629-9219
Stop Poking Me!: 202-629-9217
Stop Writing on my Wall!: 202-629-9218
Stuff in Teeth Notification: 631-960-7172
You are a Facebook Addict!: 202-629-9220
Relationship-Related Hotlines
The "One-Night-Stand" Hotline: 212-201-3517
The Breakup Bitch (mean): 202-629-9213
The Breakup Butler (gentle): 401-427-2990
Birth Control Reminder: 413-497-0047
He's Not Right For You: 609-986-0369
Pre Marital Sex vs Saving Yourself: 772-257-4484
Safe Sex Reminder 1: 973-409-3317
Safe Sex Reminder 2: 973-409-3318
Safe Sex Reminder 3: 973-409-3319
The Breakup Bitch (no more booty calls): 267-656-2028
Other Hotlines
Call for Luck: 781-452-0840
Call to Confess: 646-717-8394
High Gas Prices: 772-257-4485
How Will You Remember MJ?: 413-497-0041
Mime-On-Demand: 781-452-2659
RH Brands Feedback Line: 401-992-4043
Rooftop Comedy - Dog Fighting (Michael Vick): 917-475-0056
Rooftop Comedy - Everybody Farts: 781-884-0040
Rooftop Comedy - Fake Beer (UGA): 215-475-5067
Rooftop Comedy - Global Warming: 772-257-4483
International Hotlines
Corazon Despedazado: 413-497-2056
Int'l ''Go F*** Yourself'' Hotline: 401-285-2051
Int'l ''I Love You'' Hotline: 401-285-2180
Int'l ''Will You Have Sex With Me?'' Hotline: 772-257-4093
Nacometro: 631-403-2014
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Call to Vent 612-564-1643
Call to Confess 207-228-0146
Rejection Hotline Leave a Message 845-290-8610
Feedback 828-333-9019
Other Versions of our Stuff 774-488-5256
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