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The Numbers
- Most Popular Humor Hotlines!
- How To Keep an Idiot Entertained: 401-285-0696
- Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128
- Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277
- Santa Hotline (Not for Kids!): 772-257-4661
- The Original Rejection Hotline®: 212-660-2245
- Bad Breath Notification Number: 631-960-7187
- It Could Always Suck More!: 401-992-4050
- Marijuana Legalization Line: 781-452-0647
- The "Human Resources" Hotline: 786-837-9893
- The "Make It 18" Hotline: 772-257-4488
- New Releases
- Dating Nightmare: 973-409-3273
- The Official Breakup Hotline: 781-452-0659
- Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010
- Call A Thanksgiving Turkey: 781-452-4017
- Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029
- The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129
- The International Relationship Hotline: 917-475-0065
- The Urgent Message Hotline: 240-258-4005
- The Vodka Hotline: 772-257-4492
- Pranks, Tricks and Jokes
- Prankster's Assistant Hotline: 781-452-0842
- The "Rick Roll" Hotline: 772-257-4501
- Annoying Sound: 781-452-2666
- Bad Connection (female): 786-837-9897
- Bad Connection (male): 202-629-9226
- Breaking News: 267-385-3706
- Do You Even Know?: 202-629-9224
- Frustration Hotline: 484-271-2468
- Mind Reader Hotline: 781-452-0841
- Suggestion Hotline: 973-474-9050
- Holiday Hotlines
- April Fools Day Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033
- Best Valentines Gift EVER: 973-409-3278
- Call The Easter Bunny!: 973-409-3313
- For Singles on Valentine's Day: 401-992-4047
- Frosty The Snowman: 631-403-2011
- Get Over It Day (March 9): 267-350-8967
- Halloween Tragedy Prevention Line: 413-497-0074
- Hanukkah Harry Hotline: 772-257-4489
- Happy Father's Day: 772-257-4480
- Happy Mother's Day: 202-629-9227
- Business-Related Hotlines
- A Tip for Interviewing: 857-401-9189
- Employment Hotline: 401-992-4052
- Get out of Jail Hotline: 267-385-3705
- Investment Advice: 781-452-2078
- Professional Reference: 413-497-0051
- The "I Quit" Hotline: 413-497-0049
- The "You're Fired" Hotline: 413-497-0050
- Political Hotlines
- Obama Campaign Headquarters ('08): 917-475-0051
- Presidential Polling Center: 781-452-2074
- The "Billion Dollar Bailout" Hotline: 781-452-2073
- Bye Bye Bush: 917-475-0064
- Clinton Campaign Headquarters ('08): 917-475-0052
- McCain Campaign Headquarters ('08): 917-475-0050
- Sarah Palin's Cell Phone: 973-409-3264
- The Rejection Hotline®
- Almost... to Voicemail: 973-409-3264
- Australian: 202-629-9230
- British: 202-629-9216
- Call to Silence: 301-576-1106
- Definition Annoying: 917-475-0060
- Definition Pathetic: 786-837-9920
- Elderly: 401-992-4049
- Leave-A-Message Rejection Hotline (female): 845-290-8610
- Leave-A-Message Rejection Hotline (male): 973-409-3242
- Marshmallow: 401-992-4046
- Notification Numbers
- Body Odor Notification: 631-960-7171
- Booger Hanging Notification: 631-960-7169
- Stop Inviting Me to Stupid Groups!: 202-629-9219
- Stop Poking Me!: 202-629-9217
- Stop Writing on my Wall!: 202-629-9218
- Stuff in Teeth Notification: 631-960-7172
- You are a Facebook Addict!: 202-629-9220
- Relationship-Related Hotlines
- The "One-Night-Stand" Hotline: 212-201-3517
- The Breakup Bitch (mean): 202-629-9213
- The Breakup Butler (gentle): 401-427-2990
- Birth Control Reminder: 413-497-0047
- He's Not Right For You: 609-986-0369
- Pre Marital Sex vs Saving Yourself: 772-257-4484
- Safe Sex Reminder 1: 973-409-3317
- Safe Sex Reminder 2: 973-409-3318
- Safe Sex Reminder 3: 973-409-3319
- The Breakup Bitch (no more booty calls): 267-656-2028
- Other Hotlines
- Call for Luck: 781-452-0840
- Call to Confess: 646-717-8394
- High Gas Prices: 772-257-4485
- How Will You Remember MJ?: 413-497-0041
- Mime-On-Demand: 781-452-2659
- RH Brands Feedback Line: 401-992-4043
- Rooftop Comedy - Dog Fighting (Michael Vick): 917-475-0056
- Rooftop Comedy - Everybody Farts: 781-884-0040
- Rooftop Comedy - Fake Beer (UGA): 215-475-5067
- Rooftop Comedy - Global Warming: 772-257-4483
- International Hotlines
- Int'l ''Go F*** Yourself'' Hotline: 401-285-2051
- Int'l ''I Love You'' Hotline: 401-285-2180
- Int'l ''Will You Have Sex With Me?'' Hotline: 772-257-4093
- Nacometro: 631-403-2014
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Rejection Hotline (Alternate Voices)
Hear the World Famous Rejection Hotline® read by Aussies, Brits, and even the elderly!
Situation-Specific
"One Night Stand" "Service Industry Rejection Hotline" "Rejection Voicemail" and more!!!
Other Rejections
Whether you don't speak English or don't speak at all we have unique Rejection Hotlines for most situations.