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Staff Picks

The Original Rejection Hotline®: 212-660-2245

When someone won't take the hint that you're not interested or won't take NO for an answer? Use the Rejection Hotline to get them off your back: ...

The Vodka Hotline: 772-257-4492

"Take Control, and Lose Control" with The Vodka Hotline at 772-257-4492.

Rebecca Roll: 781-452-2079

Rebecca Roll your friends by having them call 781-452-2079 to hear the viral hit "Friday"

Vietnamese?: 301-917-2204

What? You don't speak Vietnamese? So you have no idea what this guy is saying? Perfect, because neither do we!

STD Notification Scare: 401-285-0703

You might rethink your sex life after hearing this message from The Midtown Health Clinic at 401-285-0703.

Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128

Need a friend? Call 267-436-5128 to hear from someone who can help.

The (Anti) Columbus Day Hotline: 973-409-3471

Call 973-409-3471 to find out why Columbus Day is our most ridiculous national holiday!

Mind Reader Hotline: 781-452-0841

Want to have your mind blown? Well, will you settle for having it read? Call the Mind Reader Hotline and be amazed!

Circular ReDirect Hotline: 973-409-3469

Ever call a number to find out its been changed? Ever call the new number just to find out its been changed back to the original? Try our Circular ...

Employment Hotline: 401-992-4052

Recession hit you hard? Take a tip from our "Employment Hotline": 401-992-4052.

Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277

Obsessive-compulsive? Multiple Personality Disorder? Nymphomaniac?!? Call the Psychiatric Hotline for assistance.

The Breakup Bitch (mean): 202-629-9213

Want to break up, but don't want a confrontation? Let the Breakup Bitch do it for you!

New Year's Resolution Rant: 786-837-9926

Know someone that has trouble sticking to New Year's Resolutions? Have them call 786-837-9926 for a New Year's Resolution Rant by the Pissed-Off ...

Worst Phone Sex Line Ever! 781-452-0827

Ever wonder what Borat would sound like as a Sex Hotline operator? Call 781-452-0827 (try all 4 options!) then tell single/desperate friends ...

The Bad Sex Compensation Line: 401-992-4056

Have you had a disappointing sexual experience? You could be entitled to compensation! Call the law offices of Jones & Adams at ...

Save the Stars! 603-413-4128

Right now there's a multi-millionaire NBA basketball player who needs your help. Call 603-413-4128 to pledge your support!