Booger Hanging Notification: 631-960-7169

Tired of staring at a family member's, coworker's or friend's dangling nose gold? Kindly let them know by giving them the number to the "Hanging ...

Body Odor Notification: 631-960-7171

Smells like someone could use the Body Odor Notification Number: 631-960-7171

Is the broccoli caught in a friend's front teeth annoying the living hell out of you, but you don't want to say anything? Have them call the ...

Ever been around someone with nasty bad breath? Give them the Bad Breath Notification Number... and a mint...

You might rethink your sex life after hearing this message from The Midtown Health Clinic at 401-285-0703.

Are you getting poked more often than the Pillsbury Doughboy? Tell your Facebook stalkers to stop poking you by having them call ...

Is someone abusing their Facebook wall post privileges? Serve them with a cease and desist by having them call 202-629-9218.

Tired of being invited to annoying Facebook groups that have nothing to do with your interests? Let everyone know by having them call ...

Do you or someone you know have a Facebook addiction? Get them to take the first step and admit it by having them call 202-629-9220.

Sick of your friends posting pointless status updates to Facebook or Twitter? Next time they post, have them call 267-436-5224!

Annoyed with someone? Well let them know. Get literal and have them call 917-475-0060.

Let the dictionary do your name calling for you. Give out the "Definition of Pathetic" Hotline to anyone that deserves it: 786-837-9920.

Call 401-285-0698 to hear a special message from comedienne Wanda Sykes

Give this hotline (401-285-0705) to your loud-talking friends, and help them find their inside-voice.