NEW Valentine's Day Stuff from humorhotlines.com
Some people LOVE Valentine’s Day.
Some people HATE Valentine’s Day.
And some people don't read our monthly newsletters so we kinda hate those people - but since that doesn't apply to YOU, we’ll just continue...
4) The Best Valentines Day Gift you can EVER give… is this phone number: 973-409-3278 Happy F***ing Valentine’s Day! Now go call some of our V-day numbers, let us know which ones you like or don’t like (feedback@humorhotlines.com) and please feel free to pass around (Email? Text message? Carrier pigeon?) whichever ones you like best!
Anyway, whether you’re a guy or a girl, whether you’re single or taken,
we’ve got a Valentine’s Day Humor Hotline (below) for EVERYONE!
1) The official “Valentine’s Day SUCKS” Hotline is: 401-992-4027
(Whether YOU hate Valentine’s Day or just know some bitter people who do, you should probably check this out :)
(Because there are a lot of true/evil facts YOU NEED TO KNOW about Valentine’s Day! :)
(Especially single guys looking to pick up a single girl on Valentines Night :)
(Seriously. Don’t spend money on a Valentines Day gift this year, just give your significant other this number :)
5) Instead of a traditional Valentine Card, just give loved ones this number to call: 973-409-3280
(It’s not exactly a nice/sweet Hallmark Card, but at least they’ll know you were thinking of them :)
We know that Valentine's Day can suck for people in CANADA too so we added a "Valentine's Day SUCKS Hotline" in TORONTO: 647-827-0721
IN CLOSING, here’s the random “How the F does that make sense” discussion topic of the month:
Ok, so, somehow this dude “Cupid” became the official symbol of Valentine’s Day, and somehow it’s thought of as cute/sweet/romantic/lucky if that diaper-wearing flying-freak shoots you with an arrow. Um, WTF?!? Cupid dates back to Roman Mythology, back when a bow and arrow was the deadliest weapon around! A bow and arrow back then would be like a F***ing machine gun today! So everytime you give one of those cheesy v-day cards with Cupid on it, you’re not really saying “Happy Valentine’s Day”, you’re basically saying, “I hope you get shot with a machine gun and die.” Check the cards you get this year – people must really hate you!
