All-Time Favorites
The Original Rejection Hotline®: 212-660-2245
When someone won't take the hint that you're not interested or won't take NO for an answer? Use the Rejection Hotline to get them off your back: ...
Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277
Obsessive-compulsive? Multiple Personality Disorder? Nymphomaniac?!? Call the Psychiatric Hotline for assistance.
Santa Hotline (Not for Kids!): 772-257-4661
WARNING: Our Santa Hotline is NOT intended for young kids! :) Call Santa at 772-257-4661 and you'll find out why!
It Could Always Suck More!: 401-992-4050
Having a bad day? Call for an inspirational (and humorous) reminder that, no matter how bad your life might suck right now, It Could Always ...
Bad Breath Notification Number: 631-960-7187
Ever been around someone with nasty bad breath? Give them the Bad Breath Notification Number... and a mint...
The "Human Resources" Hotline: 786-837-9893
Think you've got it bad at your company? Call the "Human Resources Hotline" for the worst company in America to hear how it could be much, much ...
How To Keep an Idiot Entertained: 401-285-0696
Call the "How To Keep an Idiot Entertained" Hotline at 401-285-0696.
Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128
Need a friend? Call 267-436-5128 to hear from someone who can help.
A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115
Call 267-436-5115 to hear an important safety message that could save your life!
Prankster's Assistant Hotline: 781-452-0842
Use the Prankster's Assistant Hotline for your pranks! 781-452-0842.
The "Rick Roll" Hotline: 772-257-4501
Have your friends call 772-257-4501 for a special message from a certain 80's musician...
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft: 413-497-0167
Call the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at 413-497-0167. WARNING: individuals of non-magical decent (muggles) are NOT permitted ...
STD Notification Scare: 401-285-0703
You might rethink your sex life after hearing this message from The Midtown Health Clinic at 401-285-0703.
The Bad Sex Compensation Line: 401-992-4056
Have you had a disappointing sexual experience? You could be entitled to compensation! Call the law offices of Jones & Adams at ...
The Breakup Bitch (mean): 202-629-9213
Want to break up, but don't want a confrontation? Let the Breakup Bitch do it for you!
Bin Laden's Last Seconds on Earth? 401-285-8624
Call 401-285-8624 to hear Osama Bin Laden's last seconds on Earth.
Bad Breath Robot: 631-960-7187
Ever been around someone with nasty bad breath? Give them the Bad Breath Robot Number... and a mint...
